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post #1 of 28 Old 03-12-2016, 09:24 PM Thread Starter
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How Are You Doing, Today?

I live in a pretty topsy-turvy world, emotion-wise.
Being unemployed just makes it worse, and I spend way too much time in front of the TV.

But this evening, the youth group at my Quaker meeting held a chili cookoff. There were 6 different pots of chili, and we were all invited to taste them all, and then vote with our dollars for our favorites.
Afterward there were desserts auctioned off, with all of the money going to local charities.

Toward the end, two of the ladies were busy assembling the monthly newsletter and getting them ready for the mail. I joined in.
I even took said newsletters to the post office afterward, so the ladies wouldn't have to mess with it.

It really lifted my spirits to be around everyone that was smiling and laughing. The chili was good, and my farts are sweet!

When I got home and parked the car in the garage, for the first time in a long time, the motorcycle looked appealing, over there.

It also helps that I was contacted Friday about a job in my field (computer operations). I had to go out and buy a webcam for my computer as the client conducts preliminary interviews via Skype. That is a new one for me.

Who knows, maybe it is just the coming of warm weather here in the Northern Hemisphere, but I may keep the bike for another season. I just need to get my head in the right place.

This thread doesn't have to center on me and my life. Feel free to offer up, as the title says, how you are feeling today.

Peace, Friends.
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post #2 of 28 Old 03-12-2016, 10:09 PM
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I'm currently enjoying a couple of cold beers. Spend 1.5 hours mowing the lawn in the heat, so it is a given.

Applied for a different role at work last week and had interview - should here back this week.

Wife is in Brisbane for the weekend doing some make up convention for Younique. So I am at home with the kids.

Chin up mate, sometimes it's good to be around happy people.

Antidepressants have been helping me.
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post #3 of 28 Old 03-12-2016, 10:40 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Juzman View Post

Antidepressants have been helping me.


I see my doctor this week for my first prescription.

Gonna get something for my low testosterone, too. I hear T is for more than just sex. (energy, in general) I am going to turn 60 this summer.

Monday is my 2nd psych therapy session.

I had tried antidepressants and therapy about 15 years ago, but it didn't really seem to help. Possibly due to my self-medicating with cannabis. A year ago I quit smoking for a month, but it didn't take.
The trauma of losing my job this year (laid off) pretty much sealed the deal on that, this time. I don't expect to fall off the wagon, this time. And it is much more than just being able to pee clean. It is a VERY large money pit, not to mention the clandestine meetings. Not really good for the soul.

Except for living homeless, I think I have finally hit my personal "best" rock bottom, which is usually a good thing, for the future.

I am lucky that this particular substance was such an easy one to quit cold. I'm not sure I can say the same thing about my issues with spending money. If I get this job, I will have to face that monster, again. I just need to keep up with the therapy. I have always done well when I have a professional to talk with. But doing so is a very recent development in my life.
Otherwise, I have been lucky. No tobacco, no alcohol and no gambling.
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post #4 of 28 Old 03-12-2016, 11:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by don'tpanic View Post
I had tried antidepressants and therapy about 15 years ago, but it didn't really seem to help. Possibly due to my self-medicating with cannabis.
That probably would've played a fair part in it. Then again, I tried about 5 different ones before I found one that actually helped. Different types and mg over a long period. So far, so good.

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The trauma of losing my job this year (laid off) pretty much sealed the deal on that, this time. I don't expect to fall off the wagon, this time.
My Wife and I quit smoking cigarettes almost a year ago. Recently I started having a couple here and there due to failed IVF attempts and filing for bankruptcy however I didn't take it back up thankfully. Just bummed a couple off of my mates.

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I am lucky that this particular substance was such an easy one to quit cold.
I found the same thing. I used to not be able to function unless I was high, would wake up during the night, smoke a bowl and go back to sleep. Then wake up at 6am, and do it again. I would smoke it more than I smoked cigarettes. However one day I just said "nope", and that was that.

Never had withdrawals, or felt the "need" to have some. So it was all just my mind state, same with smoking cigarettes. I simply had the right mind frame to stop.


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If I get this job, I will have to face that monster, again. I just need to keep up with the therapy.
Well done for seeking help mate, keep it up!
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post #5 of 28 Old 03-13-2016, 12:11 AM Thread Starter
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Recently I started having a couple here and there due to failed IVF attempts and filing for bankruptcy however I didn't take it back up thankfully.
I wouldn't be in a big hurry to bring another life into this world, if I were you.
Mostly I am speaking from a "living ON the grid" lifestyle. I hate our dependence on fossil fuels for heating our homes and moving us about. And YES, that includes the possibility of electric vehicles.
Electricity has to come from somewhere. And production of solar panels is not without its carbon footprint.
Adopt. There may even be tax benefits in it!

I am also in the middle of bankruptcy right now, thanks to my attempts to "buy" happiness with credit card debt.

I will never own another credit card in my life. I let my car go back to the bank (4 more years on the loan for a 2008 Civic!).
I bought a nearly identical 2006 Civic with an additional 70,000 miles on it with my severance money ($4700 - one owner!). I have the title!
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post #6 of 28 Old 03-13-2016, 01:07 AM
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Sounds like you're keeping your head above water in spite of some overwhelming stresses don'tpanic. This past year has been a tough one for me health wise, including diagnosis of a cardiac arrhythmia with the anxiety component typical with heart issues. However, after many months of treatment I am now back riding and trying to get back into a regular rhythm of life. Already have several rides completed which is rare at this time of year in Cochrane. A smile is back on my face Thankfully depression was not a by product of my rocky road of emergency rooms, cardiologists and other dr visits.

Surrounding ourself with positive friends and giving activities will yield a sense of good will. If antidepressants are needed then go for it. Stress eventually lowers the neurotransmitters responsible for positive mood. Modern day antidepressants replace these "feel good" hormones and chemicals. Ask your Dr about a common side affect of lowered libido or inability to "complete" the deed. This is a common complaint....sadly.

Hope you can keep your bike. Economy is depressed everywhere. Here in Alberta we're crumbling under a collapsed economy. Suicide rate has increased by 30%. Scary, scary stuff.
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post #7 of 28 Old 03-13-2016, 08:42 AM
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I'm using Citalopram to treat my depression. It works pretty well but has moved my day/night cycle forward by about 4 hours (that's why I sometimes welcome new members here at 2 am).
If I were you I wouldn't sell the motorcycle just yet. You might be in a phase of strange mood shifts and every permanent decision might hurt you in the long run.
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post #8 of 28 Old 03-13-2016, 08:43 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks for the kind thoughts, LTR.

I have to admit, I have never felt suicidal (I really don't like pain, and I am a wimp), but one big factor in hoping that my time would come soon is the upcoming US Presidential election. VERY distressing. There is one person running whom I think can give us some hope, but there are SO MANY scared, angry, xenophobic voters out there, I am afraid he may not have a chance.

I have never worried much about my libido, as I don't consider myself good looking enough, or stable enough to worry about a relationship, at this point in my life.
For me, the testosterone treatment will be more about helping me gain a more positive outlook on life.
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post #9 of 28 Old 03-13-2016, 09:03 AM
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I find great peace and sense of accomplishment through excercise. I have a few expensive bicycles and used to train with racers at the back of the pack but now I am just as content to go out by myself or in a small group on an old mountain bike with basic equipment and wearing street clothes. Or indoors with a mag trainer while watching a movie. Your energy and T levels and sense of well being will improve if you can exercise. Elliptical machines are also really great if you are near a gym. Water ex is fantastic for people with sore joints. Make sure you are eating enough protein. 1.5 grams per kg of lean body mass. Tuna, beans, soy milk, greek yoqurt. ect.


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post #10 of 28 Old 03-13-2016, 02:22 PM Thread Starter
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Yes Sendler, in fact I have a bicycle, and it is set up in my spare room on a training stand.
Making myself get on it when I am feeling low is another thing, entirely. But I would be lying if I said I have been on it at all, lately. Today?
Our Tai Chi group at church only meets every-other week, but it is great, too. I really feel a difference (sore, underused muscles) afterward. The fellowship is supreme, also!

I am conscious of how much protein I am getting, but I've never done the math. I try to stick to real food. My favorite snack these days is crunchy peanut butter on apple wedges.
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